Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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