i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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