Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
