Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize