She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
