i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
