If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
