It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
