My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
