I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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