Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
