Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
a search helicopter?!
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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