You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Who did Billy Mays play for?
honey bunches of taint.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
