it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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