Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
we're making bets on your personal life
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
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