All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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