We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
