Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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