Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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