I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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