I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize