my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Pants are for mortals
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
