no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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