bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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