Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
