Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize