i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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