I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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