oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
