I cannot find my penis.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
