you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
