Screwed.edu
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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