chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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