Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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