Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
