Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
