She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
