In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
