I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
