Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
