is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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