this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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