And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
