you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
