I hate all girls vehemently.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
