do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
