about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
