Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Don't EVER smell your tampon
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
not ubering you a puppy
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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