I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I wish I only lived at night.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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