as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
this beer tastes like vomit already
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
