There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
