they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize