I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
