Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
