There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
