I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
