Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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