Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
