My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
