There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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