How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
