Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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