Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
