Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
