ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
