I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
