do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
